I have several other things to be doing right now. I have case notes for work to finish, I have a paper to write for school that I have put off for entirely too long, and there are dirty dishes in my sink.
But I am in love, and I need to tell you all about it.
I’ll save the suspense and let you know right now that I’m not talking about a person. No, the only guys noticing me are older men who think I’m “cute” and my mom’s third grade boys. Nobody age-appropriate has so much as glanced my way lately. And that is fine with me. I have a rich life that is still full of more love than I could have imagined for myself.
Just last night, as I was driving home from dinner with a friend, I was looking around at the city lights of St. Louis. I was in such a state of reverie and gratitude that I missed my exit. I wasn’t even mad, just grateful to spend more time admiring my city. I felt in my heart what can only be described as love.
As a hopeful romantic, I had initially imagined I would meet someone at a coffee shop, our eyes would lock, we would share a knowing smile, and that would be that. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I never truly believed it would be that easy, but I did imagine it wouldn’t be difficult to at least get a date.
Nope. Zero dates.
I did meet a guy at a coffee shop. A barista. And he turned out to be a real jerk. Here’s the short version of that story: I gave him my number. He texted me saying he was in a relationship but he wanted to get to know me more. I initiated a friendship with him by texting him a couple weeks later, asking when he’s working next so I could come talk to him. He snapped at me, “I’m not interested, and I think I already made that clear.” I was so humiliated, but enough time has passed that I now think it’s hilarious. Yikes, dude. If you can’t handle having me as a friend, good luck with anyone else.
Since then, I have made no effort to talk to any attractive strangers. Not because Mr. Coffee scared me away from making the first move…okay, maybe he did a little bit. But for now, I would rather experience love in other ways. I’ll sound like a broken record of every female before me who has said this, but I just don’t need a man. I make my own money, I have my own apartment, I don’t have to consult with anyone before I make decisions…it’s the perfect life for me.
Someday I may meet someone. If he’s worth having around, I know exactly how he’ll make me feel.
He’ll make me as happy as a walk in Forest Park on a beautiful day.
He’ll make me feel so lucky, the way I feel every morning when I see the Arch on my way to work.
He’ll have the most beautiful eyes… 🙂
I hope they’re not as creepy as that giant one from Laumeier Sculpture Park.
And he’ll inspire me, like the St. Louis Art Museum.
These are just a few places I adore in St. Louis. I was originally going to make this post all about my favorite restaurants, coffee shops, etc. in the STL area. But I guess you’ll have to wait until next time for that. 🙂
You don’t have to have a relationship to feel love and be loved in return. I hope everyone finds a place in this world that makes them feel the way I feel about St. Louis. And if you find a person who makes you that happy too, even better. To quote Emily’s favorite movie, “If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”